I so fucking pissed right now.. I have been on my own for four years, two of those years spent in a house paying my own rent, utilities, groceries, etc. I NEVER asked my parents to help me with SHIT. If they gave me money I took it but if I had to work extra shifts at work, lock myself up in the room to save money, or use my credit card (bad financial habit) but I did what I had to do to keep my independence. And it worked for me so far.
Ive been home for a week and three days and I have heard complaints on EVERYTHING. Im not a fucking maid, so if I sit at the house and dont fold the laundry then leave me the fuck alone. If I wasn't here who would do it? I buy my clothes, ME... So if I want to go outside the house with my nipples showing thats my business because I buy my clothes. Im not used to having to think about what my parents would say and seeing that I HATE when people bitch, I go along with it to make my parents shut the fuck up.
Do you know how many things I wanted to do in college that I didnt because of my parents? Lets see. I wanted to get my nose pierced, my belly button pierced, cut my hair, buy a car, move in with a male, travel oversears by myself. But because I was so concerned with what my parents thought I restricted my activities for their well- being. Now Im here almost 22 years old with a college degree. I can go out and get a job right now, Im paying for grad school on my own. (Sidenote: My parents put out all of 2500 dollars for my 4 year tenure at Howard)
Im used to doing shit my way, and you bitch about some crap like how short my pants are and if I drink. If Im not coming home drunk be happy. If Im not outside purposely flaunting my ass for attention be happy. If Im not bringing harm to myself or anyone in the house be happy. Stop complaining about every little thing that your "not used to" and making it into such a fucking big ordeal. Because you raised me right. You also raised me to have options. Because trust me, I could be ALOT worse.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
What If?
Its been a while since Ive written. Life's been hectic. Dramatic. Sad. Happy. Busy. Its been a whole bunch of things. Now that I have some time to sit down and think Ive been pondering about the last four years and how my life would have turned out if things were different. If I made different decisions. If I pursued different things.
One big thing always enters my mind. What if I made different decisions when it came to men? Not saying the choices I mad were poor ones but what if I took advantage of the men living on the first floor of my dorm sophomore year? What if I never met Maxx at Chris' party? I could have been a faithful girlfriend to my triflin ex-boyfriend. I could have realized that Aamir was a waste of my time and I could have been in a happier long lasting relationship. What if I met Justice earlier? I could still be in DC right now to be with him longer. But then I would have never made it so far with Cakes.
In the long run, I met the men Ive dealt with for a reason and because of them and the lessons Ive learned from them, Im going to make someone a bomb girlfriend one day.
Another big What If. What if I never moved off campus? My body count would have definitely been lower..lol But a lower body count wouldnt have given me my skills I have today... What if it was just me and Mavia from jump. I prolly would have two more friends under my belt. But I learned the hard way that you cant live with everybody.. And everybody aint what they seem in public..
What if I was a minute late to walking into the Quad? I would have never met Mavia. I dont even want to continue that thought.
With extra time on my hands, I got to rethink my decisions and make up scenarios where my life could have turned out for the better or worse. Honestly I think I would have been pregnant and barley holding onto my grades.. But thank God for the decisions I made. They people I bang with, the people I dropped out of my life. The boys I had sex with. Thank God for the boys I DIDNT have sex with. lol It was all for reason. No need for What If's...
One big thing always enters my mind. What if I made different decisions when it came to men? Not saying the choices I mad were poor ones but what if I took advantage of the men living on the first floor of my dorm sophomore year? What if I never met Maxx at Chris' party? I could have been a faithful girlfriend to my triflin ex-boyfriend. I could have realized that Aamir was a waste of my time and I could have been in a happier long lasting relationship. What if I met Justice earlier? I could still be in DC right now to be with him longer. But then I would have never made it so far with Cakes.
In the long run, I met the men Ive dealt with for a reason and because of them and the lessons Ive learned from them, Im going to make someone a bomb girlfriend one day.
Another big What If. What if I never moved off campus? My body count would have definitely been lower..lol But a lower body count wouldnt have given me my skills I have today... What if it was just me and Mavia from jump. I prolly would have two more friends under my belt. But I learned the hard way that you cant live with everybody.. And everybody aint what they seem in public..
What if I was a minute late to walking into the Quad? I would have never met Mavia. I dont even want to continue that thought.
With extra time on my hands, I got to rethink my decisions and make up scenarios where my life could have turned out for the better or worse. Honestly I think I would have been pregnant and barley holding onto my grades.. But thank God for the decisions I made. They people I bang with, the people I dropped out of my life. The boys I had sex with. Thank God for the boys I DIDNT have sex with. lol It was all for reason. No need for What If's...
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